A Yes, I saw it, too. But a close-up revealed it had your name scrawled at the top. A Reds pitcher was supposed to ship it to you but he forgot and mistakenly took it to the mound with him.
Q Why do some players’ batting helmets look as if they were parched in a five-alarm fire? I noticed Orlando Cabrera’s helmet already looks like it was baked in an oven and he is new this year. Why is that? — Scott, Troy
A Ah, another fashion question. It’s called pine tar, a sticky substance players put on their bats to reduce slippage. The goop gets on their batting gloves and gets transferred to their helmets when they adjust them. Players who adjust their helmets constantly, like Cabrera, leave more gunk on their helmet. The wishbone ‘C’ on Cabrera’s helmet already is nearly obliterated. When I was a kid, we used friction tape on the bat handles, but that was mostly because the bats were broken.
Q I’ve read often of your love for Yuengling beer. Do you prefer Lager, Porter or Black & Tan? — Lou, Miami Twp.
A I’m a Lager kind of guy. I took one sip of Black & Tan and spit it out on my wife’s clean carpet. Now, like cigars, I can only partake of beer in the garage Man Cave.
Q Who are your five favorite sportswriters? — Danielle, Jackson, Miss.
A Grantland Rice, because he is the Babe Ruth of the press box; Jim Murray, because he used all the words that I know but could never put them together the same way; Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Chronicle, one of the funniest guys this side of Comedy Central; Bob Verdi, retired from the Chicago Tribune, because he always made me laugh while making sense in his columns; Rick Reilly, a multi-talented guy who was once dumb enough to sully his column in Sports Illustrated by writing about me (and Aaron Boone).
Q What is it with the pants that baseball players wear today, so long that they drape over the heels of their shoes? How do they keep from tripping? — Bruce, Miamisburg
A Not only do the pants cover their spikes, they are so baggy they remind me of my Grandpa Virgil in his pajamas. Derek Bell started the pants-over-the-shoes trend and it was picked up by Manny Ramirez and Gary Sheffield. Now it is the style, so nearly everybody does it. How do they keep from tripping? I don’t know. How do those shaggy dogs with fur covering their legs at the Westminster Kennel Club show keep from tripping?
Q Is Drew Stubbs the fastest Reds runner you’ve seen since Eric Davis? — Mark, Bloomington, Ind.
A Stubbs if fast, fast, fast. I can remember two others just as fast as Stubbs and Davis. Remember Dave Collins? He stole 79 bases in 1980 and still holds the South Dakota state high school 100-yard dash record. He modestly says, “That’s because they now run the 100 meters,” but his nickname was The Rabbit. And remember Billy Bates on the 1990 team? He was so fast they staged a promotion for him to race a cheetah retrieved from the Cincinnati Zoo from the center-field wall to home plate. Bates won because his hat flew off and the cheetah stopped to eat it.
Q Was Ryne Sandberg a great fielder? I saw him make what I thought was an error but the official scorer ruled it a hit. — John, Indianapolis
A Sandberg had a long history of going long spells without an error and there were whispers that he was helped by friendly scorers. Maybe you were at the game in Wrigley Field when Sandberg appeared to boot one and it was ruled a hit. In a flash, Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman was screaming in the press box at the scorer, “No wonder Sandberg never makes an error. That was total bull!” Sandberg did not have great range, but learned the hitters and positioned himself well and got to the balls he should have. And he was a great hitter, which is the main reason he is in the Hall of Fame.
Q The Reds never have had a No. 1 catcher since Johnny Bench and there is a young prospect with the Twins named Wilson Ramos, who is blocked by Joe Mauer’s signing. First baseman Yonder Alonso is blocked by Joey Votto, so do you think the Reds might be able to trade Alonso for Ramos? — Jim, Delhi
A First of all, Joe Oliver wants you to give him a call. Don’t the Twins already have a first baseman named Justin Morneau, so what do they do with Alonso? Plus it would be wise for the Reds to keep Alonso in case they can’t sign Votto when free agency surfaces. Trades are nice to discuss, but it takes two to tango, two to rumba, two to Macarena and at least two to make a trade. Both sides need to agree and I’m not sure the Twins would go for this one.
Q Who is going to be the first pitcher to go down to Louisville and who is the first to get called up? My money, if there is any in the sofa, is on Homer Bailey and Travis Wood. — Keith, Fairborn
A When I was a kid, I scoured under the couch cushions after my Uncle Lawrence left because he carried so much change it jangled like a circus calliope. Used to find enough at least for a Hershey with almonds and a Pepsi. I’m not so sure anybody will get sent down, but somebody will have a sore arm or sore elbow and land on the DL. My money — not from the couch because there isn’t any there — is on Aroldis Chapman being the first man up.
Q Why do Reds baserunners always go halfway to the next base on fly balls, even ones that go over outfielders’ heads toward the wall before they are caught? Shouldn’t they see that ball is going deep and return to tag up and run to the next base instead of walking back to the bag after the catch? — Vin, New York City
A All players are taught to go halfway when they are on first or second and the ball is hit in the air with less than two outs, except runners on third, who always tag up. Even my Little League coach, Stinky Barnes (his real name) taught us that, but nobody on our team could hit the ball in the air. It’s instinct. Good baserunners sense it and know when to scurry back and tag up. Unfortunately, not many have good baserunning instincts.
Q Why is it that so many people are eager to keep steroid users out of baseball but ignored the greenie amphetamine era like it never happened? — Ken, Kettering
A Because at the time greenies were not illegal. They were frowned upon, but not against the rules. Steroids and greenies are now against the rules and there are tests for them. There was no testing for performance-enhancing pills and potions when greenies were popular. I can remember a player having a cookie jar atop his locker that was filled with greenies and the player passed them out to teammates like peppermint sticks. And nobody thought anything about it.
Q Wasn’t The Big Red Machine the smartest team ever, and are there any other teams you covered that had the smarts to play the game the right way? — Michael, Arlington, Va.
A If you are talking school smarts, well, Pete Rose was held back a year in school. And a couple of other players on that team thought 3-and-2 wasn’t 5, but just a full count. Baseball smarts? Nobody was baseball smarter than Rose or Johnny Bench or Joe Morgan or Tony Perez. They knew what was needed on every play. The 1999 Reds, led by Greg Vaughn, were a lot like that and nearly made the playoffs. So was the 1990 world champions. So what I’m saying is that teams need not only physical attributes but baseball smarts to be winners.
Q If you are not enamored with Johnny Cueto as a starter, do you think he fits in a seventh-inning role? — Ryan, Napoleon, Ohio
A Cueto has starting stuff, but uses too much of it. He must cut down on his pitch count and then he’ll be more successful. And he must learn to not overthrow when trouble surfaces. Backing off and calming down works better. Cueto is too erratic to be a bullpen guy. Maybe if he did something about that haircut, although it works well for Edinson Volquez.
Q Who picks the music when each player comes to bat? Tiffany, Dayton
A The music (if you want to call it that in some instances) is selected by the players themselves. Sometimes an old fuddy-duddy like me even recognizes it. Rarely, though. I always thought they should play, “Take the Long Way Home” for Albert Pujols — as in four bases at a time as he circles them after another home run — and Rollin’ on the River for Scott Rolen (get it, Rolen on the Ohio River?). OK, so I’m not a choreographer.
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