How to ease reunion anxiety
Feeling anxious about your reunion? Tips for a stress-free reunion experience from licensed professional clinical counselor Tina Grismer, Miami Valley Hospital:
Before the reunion, try to connect with someone you know is attending and possibly go together.
Consider helping with the reunion planning as a way to connect with former classmates before the event.
See if a partner or spouse will go with you.
Focus on what there is to look forward to and the pros of attending — not the cons.
Have realistic expectations for yourself and the event.
Remember that you can go for an hour and, if you are not having a good time, leave.
Common excuses for not attending a class reunion
Don’t have time (family and work obligations)
Too far away (travel expenses)
Not interested (nothing in common with classmates)
I already keep in touch with everyone I would want to see
High school — for some it was a time to remember — good times with good friends. For others, it was a time to forget, fraught with adolescent awkwardness.
Is it any wonder that high school reunions evoke a range of emotions from excitement to dread and enthusiasm to apathy?
“An event like a reunion is bound to trigger memories, good and not so good,” said Tina Grismer, a licensed professional counselor and certified employee assistance professional for Miami Valley Hospital’s EmployeeCare program.
But the past isn’t the only thing people scrutinize at reunion time. Current successes or failures, from career choices to children and hairlines to waistlines, come to light.
“Most of us are our own worst critics, so it’s a good idea to get someone else’s perspective on what your successes are,” Grismer said.
With reunion season in full swing, as Reunionannouncements.com reports that 44 percent of class reunions are held in July and August, laughing and lamenting will likely go hand-in-hand.
Staying connected
Valley View graduate Janet Burton hasn’t missed a reunion. She has helped plan every one since she graduated in 1981.
“Even though I live in a small town and see quite a few of my classmates, it’s still nice to get together for a reunion every five years,” the Germantown resident said. “I hear people say high school was all about the cliques, but I’ve never felt that way at reunions.”
Like Burton, 1974 Beavercreek graduate Jeff Fleck has planned and attended all of his high school reunions. While he always enjoyed the camaraderie of his former classmates, Fleck gained a special fondness for reunions after reconnecting with his high school sweetheart after their 35-year reunion in 2009.
“Long story short, we started out as friends and now it is amazing,” Fleck said. “Not many people get a second chance with their soul mate and love of their life. I feel very blessed.”
Facebook factor
Social networking sites have had an impact on class reunions. Some think twice about attending events because they have Facebook, while others stay connected in cyberspace between reunions. Facebook currently has more than 500 million active users.
“Honestly, I ponder if I will go to my 10 year when it comes up next year,” said Shelby Quinlivan, a Dayton transplant from Wisconsin. “The people I have wanted to stay in contact with or have reconnected with are on Facebook.”
For some people, however, Facebook keeps them connected between reunions.
“My 30th (reunion) was the most fun and, believe it or not, is the reason I got on Facebook,” said Tracie Barrett, a 1979 graduate of Beavercreek High School. “That’s how most of our classmates found each other, and we are closer now than ever before.”
Comfort zone
When Grismer discusses reunions, she has both professional and personal experience to draw from as she celebrated her 40th reunion from Julienne High School last year.
“I had some ambivalence about whether or not to go especially because I am an introvert, so large social gatherings are not my preference,” she said. “But when I went, I wished I could have been there longer. I didn’t have enough to time to talk to everyone I wanted to.”
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