BOOK NOOK: This couple adopted a wide-open approach to adoption

I never heard the term “open adoption” until I read this memoir by a writer who until recently resided in Dayton. The author told me she wrote much of this book at the Dayton Metro Library.

Thirty some years ago the author and her husband Bob Pohl were living in California. They wanted children and made the decision to adopt. They spent time learning about adoption and chose to do something that was not very common then, they wanted to start a family through the process of open adoption.

Closed adoptions remain the most common types; information about birth mothers and families of origin are kept confidential-children adopted in this way don’t know who their birth parents were. Susan and Bob didn’t want this, in fact the two baby girls they adopted have known about their families of origin all along.

Their daughters, Olivia and Caitlin, always knew their birth parents and were able to maintain close contacts, to form relationships with their extended birth families. They formed bonds with their families of origin. Strong describes what a beautiful thing it has been for their daughters to get to know and love so many blood relatives.

Open adoption kept those doors wide open. Strong kept journals but she didn’t write a book about it until an event created the catalyst that made her decide to do it.

When their youngest, Caitlin, got married, Bob had a special surprise planned for the families who were at the reception. After he danced with Caitlin in the celebratory father/daughter dance he passed her over to Caitlin’s birth father, Patrick, for a spin around the dance floor. This magical moment triggered the author, she decided it was finally time to write a book about all of this.

She distilled thirty years of reminiscence, of saying “yes” to the possible. This isn’t all about joy, there were tragedies. Strong’s mother died before they adopted - her presence still hovers gently. Strong recounts how whenever she felt blocked in her writing process she would write directly to her mother, the words would begin pouring out again.

Are you interested in the subject of adoption? Read this book, it could expand your knowledge of the possibilities.