“Close that door! I’m not air conditioning the entire neighborhood.”
“Do I look like a money tree?”
But what about quotes about being a dad?
Here are a few.
My 4 yr old son gave me a hand made card for Father's Day. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) June 20, 2010
When mom wouldn't let dad build a maze of beer cans in our yard he said "You're the cloak of darkness smothering my fire of fun." #DadQuotes
— KRose (@KristenRose124) June 14, 2017
12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
Me: What's wrong with the one we live in?
12yo: WHAT?!
Me: Goodnight, son.
🇺🇸 (@TheMichaelRock)
Being a father is thankless except for one day a year when a child gives you a bad tie you paid for. Happy Father's Day.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) June 16, 2013
The only Father's Day gift I want is for Home Depot to finally implement my idea of having a beer fridge right when you walk in the store.
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) June 19, 2016
90% of parenting is just apologizing to people your kid walks into
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 23, 2015
I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 13, 2013
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